BS MakeBullshit

LinkedIn Post Generator

I was humbled today. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales. 👇

My 7-year-old just taught me more about leadership than my MBA ever did. I sat in my car for 80 minutes. Not crying. Strategizing. Let that sink in. Stop chasing goals. Start chasing synergy. If this resonated, follow me for daily insights at 4:45 AM. #OpenToWork #ButNotLikeThat

Tip: press the space bar for a fresh one. Every phrase gets its own shareable link.

What is the LinkedIn Post Generator?

You've seen them. The man who got fired and is thrilled. The founder whose four-year-old explained SaaS pricing. The guy who proposed and immediately turned it into a lesson about closing deals. The LinkedIn post generator writes these for you, complete with dramatic line breaks, an unearned moral and #Hashtags.

Each post is built from the most recognizable "LinkedIn lunatic" ingredients: the hook, the humble setup, the life lesson, and the call to action asking you to repost. Perfect for parody accounts, group chats, or just reminding yourself to never, ever post like this.

How to use it

  1. Click Write My Post.
  2. Read it with the voice of a man wearing a Patagonia vest.
  3. Copy it, share it, or (please don't) actually post it on LinkedIn.

10 examples from the LinkedIn Post Generator

  • I cried in the Whole Foods parking lot today. Here's what it taught me about B2B sales. 👇

    She looked at me and said: "Are you okay?"

    I said: "I'm better than okay. I'm scalable."

    Failure isn't the opposite of success. It's a line item in success's budget.

    P.S. I'm launching a course on this. Link in comments.

    #OpenToWork #ButNotLikeThat
  • My dog doesn't know what a KPI is. And yet he's the happiest stakeholder I know.

    So I looked them in the eye and said: "Let's circle back."

    Here's the thing nobody tells you:

    Leadership isn't a title. It's a mindset.

    I'm hiring. Unpaid. DM me "GRIND" for details.

    #Blessed #B2B #Synergy
  • I'm humbled to announce that I've been humbled.

    Everyone told me it was a bad idea.

    My mom.

    My wife.

    The police.

    And then it hit me.

    The best leaders aren't born. They're built on 5 hours of sleep.

    Tag someone who needs to hear this today.

    #Blessed #B2B #Synergy
  • I proposed to my partner today. Here's what it taught me about closing deals. 💍

    I sat in my car for 53 minutes. Not crying. Strategizing.

    I'll say it louder for the people in the back:

    Leadership isn't a title. It's a mindset.

    P.S. I'm launching a course on this. Link in comments.

    #Sales #Mindset #Gratitude #Alignment
  • I didn't get the job. Here's why that makes me the CEO of my own life.

    I could have been angry. Instead, I opened a spreadsheet.

    That's when I understood resilience.

    Be the eagle in a world full of lemmings.

    I'm hiring. Unpaid. DM me "GRIND" for details.

    #Leadership #Grateful #Hustle
  • This is going to be controversial, but: your 9-to-5 is a 5-to-9 if you're doing it right.

    I sat in my car for 23 minutes. Not crying. Strategizing.

    The best leaders aren't born. They're made in the Whole Foods parking lot.

    Like if you agree. Comment if you really agree.

    #Blessed #B2B #Synergy
  • I was fired today. 🎉

    She looked at me and said: "Are you okay?"

    I said: "I'm better than okay. I'm scalable."

    Life is just one big Zoom call. Show up. Unmute. Add value.

    P.S. I'm launching a course on this. Link in comments.

    #Resilience #Vulnerability #Monetization
  • My Uber driver was a former Fortune 500 CEO. Just kidding. But he taught me about servant leadership.

    I could have been angry. Instead, I opened a spreadsheet.

    The best leaders aren't born. They're promoted after a reorg.

    Like if you agree. Comment if you really agree.

    #Leadership #Grateful #Hustle
  • I didn't get the job. Here's why that makes me the CEO of my own life.

    The room went silent. Then the CFO started slow-clapping.

    That's when I understood growth mindset.

    Stop chasing goals. Start chasing the pipeline.

    I'm hiring. Unpaid. DM me "GRIND" for details.

    #Sales #Mindset #Gratitude #Alignment
  • This is going to be controversial, but: weekends are just unpaid Mondays.

    I sat in my car for 77 minutes. Not crying. Strategizing.

    The best leaders aren't born. They're assembled from IKEA parts.

    Thoughts?

    #Resilience #Vulnerability #Monetization

Frequently asked questions

What is a LinkedIn lunatic post?

It's a LinkedIn post that turns an everyday or deeply personal moment into a business lesson, usually with one-sentence paragraphs, a humblebrag, and a request to "Agree?"

Can I actually post these?

You can, and some people would not notice. But we generate them as parody, so expect friends to ask if you're okay.

Why do LinkedIn posts have so many line breaks?

Because each line break adds suspense. And engagement. And dwell time.
Agree?

More bullshit generators

Tech Bullshit Generator Buzzword-packed tech jargon for meetings, emails and pretending you read the deck. Financial Bullshit Generator Wall Street jargon, market outlooks and resume bullets that sound expensive. Job Title Generator Inflated corporate titles for your LinkedIn headline and email signature. AI Bullshit Generator Agentic hype, chatbot disclaimers and AI startup pitches that confidently hallucinate. Trump Speech Generator (Parody) Rally-style parody speeches about pickleball, Wi-Fi and Costco hot dogs. Excuse Generator Oddly specific excuses for being late, missing work or skipping the meeting. Startup Idea Generator "It's Uber for haunted houses." Billion-dollar pitches, zero business model. Holistic Bullshit Generator Moon-charged, gluten-free wellness wisdom for the juice bar and yoga class. Mission Statement Generator Inspiring, vague mission statements for any bank, kombucha brand or cult. Performance Review Generator Brutally polite review comments and self-evaluations for review season. Corporate Apology Generator PR-approved non-apologies that accept zero responsibility. Wine Snob Generator Pretentious tasting notes. Hints of cedar, regret and a rained-on golden retriever. Brutally Honest Horoscope Generator The stars predict mild inconvenience, a suspicious email and leftovers. Crypto Whitepaper Generator Meme coins, Web3 whitepapers and roadmaps to the moon. Not a rug pull. Real Estate Listing Generator Honest listings with translations. "Cozy" means it's a closet. Buzzword Bingo Printable meeting bingo cards. First to five synergies wins. Jargon Dictionary What corporate buzzwords actually mean, A to Z.