BS MakeBullshit

Excuse Generator

Oddly specific excuses for being late, missing the meeting, or not doing the thing.

My report is late because my smart fridge locked me out over a firmware dispute. I'm told it's a common problem in my area.

Tip: press the space bar for a fresh one. Every phrase gets its own shareable link.

What is the Excuse Generator?

The secret to a believable excuse is specificity. "I was sick" sounds fake. "A goose blocked my driveway and wouldn't make eye contact" sounds like something nobody would make up. The excuse generator builds ridiculously detailed excuses for being late to work, missing meetings, skipping plans and ignoring texts.

Use them as icebreakers, in your team's Slack, or (at your own risk) for real. We are not responsible for what your manager does with this information.

How to use it

  1. Click Get Me Out of This.
  2. Copy the excuse and deliver it with total confidence. Hesitation is how they get you.
  3. If they ask follow-up questions, click again.

10 examples from the Excuse Generator

  • I didn't finish the homework because my phone auto-updated and now it only speaks Portuguese. Also, I had to wait for a train that was approximately four miles long.
  • My group project is late because I accidentally joined a stranger's Zoom and got promoted. I'm told it's a common problem in my area.
  • I didn't see your text because my phone auto-updated and now it only speaks Portuguese. I'm choosing to grow from this.
  • So here's the thing. I opened TikTok "for one second". Then I accidentally bought a timeshare. Then, honestly, my car alarm started playing Nickelback and would not stop.
  • So here's the thing. I was on hold with the cable company and they said my call was very important. Then my Wi-Fi went down out of solidarity. Then, honestly, my car alarm started playing Nickelback and would not stop.
  • I can't make it to the gender reveal because my smart fridge locked me out over a firmware dispute. I know. I'm as shocked as you are.
  • I can't make it to the meeting because a mime trapped me in an invisible box and I respect the craft too much to leave. I know. I'm as shocked as you are.
  • I can't make it to the group project meeting because my alarm went off but in my dream, so it didn't count. I know. I'm as shocked as you are.
  • So here's the thing. I was on hold with the cable company and they said my call was very important. Then a raccoon stole my car keys, and frankly I respect him. Then, honestly, my car alarm started playing Nickelback and would not stop.
  • Running 29 minutes behind. My Uber driver took me to his mom's birthday party and I stayed for cake. I'll explain when I get there (I won't).

Frequently asked questions

What's the best excuse for being late to work?

Statistically, traffic. Comedically, a goose. Our generator leans heavily toward geese, rogue smart appliances and Costco-related incidents.

Will these excuses actually work?

Some managers will laugh and forgive you. Others will schedule a "quick chat." Results depend heavily on delivery and how late you actually are.

Can I use this for school?

Yes. Teachers have heard "the dog ate my homework" millions of times. They have rarely heard "my smart fridge locked me out over a firmware dispute."

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